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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the comfort zone for daily publications, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and milestones, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to learn that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet in his house. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from an empty Oakwell stadium after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity playing for City, the Italian striker visited a nearby college for toilet purposes in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach following a short conversation within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to salvage the situation.

“Where on earth could we find for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

And so, Keegan resigned, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf squad, assisting the women's team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. For better or worse, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We scarcely made eye contact, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists called ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|